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When I was thirteen I got on a bus with 35 other hormonally confused teenagers and drove across America. We were part of a traveling summer camp called “George Auerbach’s Teen Caravan.” George Auerbach was a supply teacher during the school year, and a traveling bus camp director come summer. The camp on wheels traveled from Toronto to Los Angeles and back again.
George was an interesting dude. He told us stories of living in New York City in the 60’s where he had run-ins with people like Bob Dylan and Paul Simon. He also had a passion for baseball and whenever we stopped somewhere that had a minor league baseball team we made sure to catch a game.
At one of the games I went to that summer I remember the announcer telling us to take our seats because what we were about to witness would knock our socks off. The special guest that night was a man named Pat “Midnight” O’Brien, better known to his fans as Captain Dynamite.
Right beside second base they had set up what looked like a coffin. Slowly ambling towards that coffin was what looked like a rather elderly man wearing a jumpsuit and an old school motorcycle helmet. Once he reached the coffin he lay down in it. The announcer then counted down from ten, and the coffin, along with Captain Dynamite, blew up.
Blowed Up Real Good
Now you might be thinking to yourself, “What’s the trick?”, and that would be a fair question. The craziest part was that there was no trick. Captain Dynamite literally blew himself up.
After the explosion nothing happened…for what seemed like forever. Eventually the announcer returned to the PA to let us know that sometimes the explosion rendered the Captain temporarily unconscious.
A minute or so later Captain Dynamite began to move. He eventually stood, unsteady on his feet and clearly disorientated. He waved to the crowd and walked off the field.
As the groundskeepers cleaned up, the announcer told us that Captain Dynamite would be signing autographs in the hallway. That’s where I got to see the Captain up close. He couldn’t hear very well because the blast had temporarily deafened him. Also his ears were bleeding. A trickle of blood ran from his ears all the way down to his neck.
It’s one of those memories that feels more hallucination then real. I’ve held onto my Captain Dynamite autographed photo for all these years, but even with that piece of physical proof I still had a sneaking suspicion that my memory had perhaps distorted some of the events. But thankfully the infinite depths of YouTube once again came to the rescue and proved that as unbelievable as it sounds, it actually did happen:
Channeling Captain Dynamite
It’s been 35 or so years since I first experienced the awesomeness that is Captain Dynamite, and I’ve thought about what I saw that day more times than I care to count. There’s a metaphor to what he did that has always felt very potent to me. In a world of special effects his act had none. There was no trap door underneath the coffin for him to hide. No mirrors that could obstruct what was actually happening. No safety net. Captain Dynamite stepped into that makeshift coffin and blew himself up, and each and every time he did it he was literally risking his life in order to entertain.
I have no idea what drove Captain Dynamite to blow himself up and I can’t ask him because he’s no longer with us (after exploding thousands of times he amazingly died of natural causes.) In my fantasy though he did it for a couple of reasons. The first reason was to create a spectacle as unique as he was. Painters express themselves through paint. Actors through acting. Captain Dynamite expressed himself through TNT.
I also imagine the reason Captain Dynamite put himself in danger over and over again is because he was addicted to risk. Laying down in that coffin of death while the crowd counted down from ten, knowing that once they finished he would, once again, blow himself up, must have been intoxicating. By putting himself at death’s door night after night, he was literally sacrificing himself for his art. The explosions were causing him to go deaf. They were knocking him unconscious. It was literally causing his ears to bleed. But still, this is what he was driven to do, and in my mind he loved it.
I’ve been lucky enough to work in creative fields my whole life, mainly producing TV shows and podcasts, but I can truly feel the difference between the projects I’ve been involved in that are safe and the ones that carry risk. It’s not that the safe ones are bad. People still say nice things about them and years later they still seem to hold up. But they are not things that give me the high that I get from putting something out in the world that pushes me outside my comfort zone and into the unknown.
The absurdity of watching Captain Dynamite explode that night awoke something in the 13 year-old version of me. What he did was completely ridiculous, but given the fact that decades later I still have his autographed photo hanging above my desk, also incredibly impactful.
Exploding yourself up literally or metaphorically is the most ludicrous thing a person can do. At the same time it’s beautiful, brilliant and raw. That’s the reason Captain Dynamite has stayed with me all these years and it’s the same thing I want more of in my life right now. I yearn for ridiculous creative pursuits that are pure expressions of me. Things that are born out of raw passion and risk, no matter how nonsensical they may seem. I want to experience the high of putting it all on the line, both creatively and personally. The times in my life when I’ve been able to channel my inner Captain Dynamite and those are the moments where I feel truly alive.
At midlife I find myself once again wanting to light that fuse and blow things up. Just thinking about it energizes me. What’s my explosion going to be this time?
Creative Prompts
Where can you “blow things up” in your life in order to make yourself feel more alive?
Is there a vision that you have that’s absurd but worth chasing anyway?
What art that you experienced as a child do you still find yourself thinking about? Why did it make such a big impact on you?
Are you putting personal risk or sacrifice into your creative work? Is there something at stake?
The Kicker
The 13 year-old in me was not only obsessed with the visual of Captain Dynamite blowing himself up, but was equally obsessed with all things SCTV.
I love it when two passions intersect…