Painting Penguins Cured My Burn-Out
A mid-life crisis update/dispatch
The Creativity Guild is a community of mid-life creative explorers looking to reignite our creative sparks. This is the place to reconnect with your creativity and start the projects you’ve always wanted to work on and be the person you’ve always wanted to be.
On an early January weekday afternoon, I found myself in a Four Cats art studio with my 20-year-old daughter, Cedar. For most of our time in the studio, we were the only ones there. We were learning how to paint an Emperor Penguin with acrylic paints. It was a perfect afternoon and a perfect start for my creativity in 2023 in so many ways. This is how it came about…
Over the holiday period at the end of last year, I was inundated with insights. I’m not sure why they all showed up at the same time, but they did.
Backstory: A Type A Tries to Relax
When I left my job in May of last year, I thought I would take some time off and that my “next chapter” would magically reveal itself to me over time. Like a giant nerd, I read all sorts of books about mid-life transitions. I was going to be GREAT at my mid-life transition! Type A, even in transitions… what a nightmare!
So instead of letting go and relaxing, I took my transition too seriously and overthought it. Suddenly it was late August, and I still didn’t know what my next chapter was going to be. My wife was heading back into a very busy fall schedule at the hospital, the kids were going back to school, and I was facing the prospect of an empty house during the days.
So I decided to start consulting and writing about content strategy and how to earn attention. BOOM! Clarity. I’ve really enjoyed the consulting work and the writing, and it kept me busy and engaged.
Then the holiday season hit.
Insight One: Burned Out
I realized that when I left my job, I was burnt out. Like, really burnt out. More than I realized burnt out. I usually run towards problems and run towards being responsible and accountable for projects and teams. This time, however, I wanted to run away from leadership, managing teams, managing clients, and bureaucracy. I wanted to run away from being accountable and responsible.
Insight Two: Running Away & Bad Decision Making
I set myself up writing and consulting because it gave me a lot of autonomy and freedom - I was a lone wolf and could do as much or as little as I wanted. What a great decision, right? Then why did I have a nagging pit in my gut that something was missing?
Over the holidays, it hit me. I had made these decisions through this lens of burnout.
In case you don’t know me personally, I am a giant extrovert and very social by nature. I talk to think. I live for collaborating with others. I love joking around with others. And so, in hindsight, I did the dumbest thing imaginable - after multiple years of COVID-induced isolation and remote work, I deliberately created a situation where I spent the fall and early winter days mostly in my basement, working alone.
Insight Three: I Needed to Make Emperor Penguins with Cedar
Even though we are exceptionally close, Cedar is 20 years old and, very naturally and normally, we are spending less time with each other.
I knew if I wanted to spend more time with Cedar, I would have to figure out something fun that we both enjoyed and could do together. I wanted to get out of the house. I wanted to collaborate in person with someone creative and fun. She loves music, poetry, writing, drawing… and painting. So for Christmas, I decided to ask for joint art lessons, starting with painting.
Early in the new year, we headed off to Four Cats Art Studio, got a couple of canvases, brushes, paint and an iPad with video lessons on how to paint Emperor Penguins. We spent two hours painting, but also just hanging out, chatting, laughing, and connecting with no agenda other than making something fun together and being in each other’s company. Two hours FLEW by. It was AMAZING.
I could not have known it beforehand, but I REALLY needed to paint Emperor Penguins with Cedar. All my dumb striving, all my isolation, and all the pressure I have put on myself about being more creative had prevented me from just relaxing and having FUN.
I also have zero painting background, so there was no pressure and there were no expectations - I was a beginner and could enjoy being a beginner.
One of the original reasons for starting the Creativity Guild with Geoff was to have fun and explore creativity for its own sake. I was so focused on my “next chapter” and trying to make the Creativity Guild valuable for all of you, I forgot the most important part - having fun and collaborating with awesome humans.
The Emperor Penguin magic could never have happened alone in my basement. And it never would have accidentally happened - I had to decide to make it happen.
Insight Four: Emerging From The Basement
The Emperor Penguin Session (™) ignited a spark that had been missing for a long time. I wanted to escape from my stupid basement and be around other people again.
I had the realization that I was not burnt out anymore. I was ready to return to the world, and I was excited.
Guess Who’s Back? Steve is Back!
I felt like driving around the neighbourhood with my windows open, blaring the opening of Eminem’s Without Me:
“Guess who’s back? Back again? Steve is back. Tell a friend. Guess who’s back? Guess who’s back? Guess who’s back?”
I decided to make an outreach plan. I have loaded myself up with coffees, lunches, and walks.
I’m writing this on a flight back from a 30-year high school reunion… in Costa Rica. Seriously. COVID ruined the original reunion and there happened to be a couple of classmates who live in Costa Rica that invited people to do a 30th reunion on the beach and in the jungle. It was AMAZING to reconnect with so many people in such a short time. There were several people who are exploring their creativity for fun and there are also a couple of full-time, full-blown professional artists, too. It was truly inspiring.
I’ve even decided to go to a podcasting conference again, for the first time since March 2020. (Who’s going to Podcast Movement Evolutions in Vegas? Let me know - social Steve is back… :-) )
To cap it all off, I have a three-person guitar jamming session coming out of the high school reunion - collaborating IRL with awesome humans, just for fun. HOLY SHIT.
My Creativity Lesson
Creativity comes in all shapes and forms. While I CAN work in isolation, my creativity works best when I do it with other people. I forgot to set up an environment that plays into who I am as a person and what my unique strengths are. These are the ingredients for my creative happiness:
Collaboration
Novelty
Curiosity
New opportunities
New Ideas
Connecting with others
I couldn’t do any of those things alone in my basement. I needed to paint Emperor Penguins with my daughter to realize it. Thanks, Cedar! And thanks, Emperor Penguin Session! (™)
Creative Prompts
Those are my personal ingredients for creative happiness, but we’re all different. What are the best conditions for your creativity?
Has COVID or remote work perhaps falsely left you feeling like isolation is the new normal?
Are there ways for you to set up an environment that plays more to your personal strengths and happiness factors?
Where can you release expectations by being a beginner?
Are you proactively creating opportunities to collaborate, connect, and create?
What is a ‘beginner mind’ activity, like painting penguins, that you can you do to get out of your comfort zone and kick-start your creativity this winter?
The Kicker
I often think about this : how did I -- someone who generally feels ambivalent about technology -- end up being so deeply immersed in it? For me -- skiing is the equivalent of emperor penguins. I like to get up on a chairlift -- get some exercise -- eat a flattened sandwich from the bottom of a backpack -- drink an overly sweet hot chocolate -- spend time with my 78 year old Mum & dad (who still ski) and just "get above it all" for a few minutes. Nothing focuses the mind like a field of moguls. Nothing calms me down like a slow ride on a chairlift.
So glad to hear you’re back Steve! What a wise and funny post!