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I’ve been told that what I’m about to share with you might be a little odd.
I want to build a tower. I want this tower to be built with my own hands. Also, I have no real construction experience, or even the land to build it on.
But still, I want to build a tower.
About 15 years ago I read the book “Tower” by Bill Henderson. It tells Henderson’s story of feeling the urge to build a tower “for no reason” on his property in Maine…and then actually doing it. Of all the books I’ve read in my lifetime it’s the one that I’ve probably thought about the most since reading it. The one that’s given me a spiritual call to action. I want to build a tower too.
I’ve actually started on my tower. Not “started” started, but I’ve been designing it in my head for the last decade and a half. The shape will be square, probably 10 x 10. It will be built of wood, and have cedar shingles covering the outside on the walls. It will be two stories high and there will be a rooftop deck that I can lie down on and watch the stars at night. The second floor will have huge windows on each wall, so I can sit in the very centre of the room and look out at the winter landscape. The base of my tower will be surrounded by a seemingly disorganized array of rocks that will make my tower look like it’s sprouting out of the earth.
There will be electricity and heating, but I’m not sure how either of those will happen. It will be safe and solid enough so that I don’t feel like I’m going to fall through the floors. There will be some sort of ladder system so I can get from one floor to another, though I haven’t figured that out yet either. It probably won’t have a bathroom, because even in my wildest fantasies I realize that I’ll never be able to figure out how to plumb a toilet.
There’s lots I haven’t figured out yet, most importantly is where I’ll build it.
For the last 15 years I’ve been casually looking for a plot of land. I don’t necessarily have the money set aside to buy this plot of land, but it certainly hasn’t stopped me from putting in hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours looking for just the right space. A real estate listing came across my computer screen a couple of months ago that looked perfect. There was a house on it that looked a little rough, but what really grabbed my attention was this photo included in the listing:
The land already came with a pre laid foundation that I could build my tower on! Sure it wasn’t a perfect 10 x 10 square, but who cared! I could work with this! Sadly in the end it turned out that I wasn’t the only person looking at this listing, and in the time between me first seeing it and then writing to a real estate agent, it sold. I was bummed, because in my mind I had already built the entire tower in that exact spot. And it was magnificent.
Being attached to the outcome of any creative project has historically been a huge block for me. I’ve had great ideas that have never even made it to the dreaming stages because even before beginning I’ve determined that it will never be viable. How terribly unromantic, I know, and I feel sad every time my mind goes there.
In 1503 Leonardo da Vinci was hired to paint a portrait of an Italian noblewoman, but rather than deliver the painting to the patron who had first commissioned it, Leonardo kept it for himself.
He continued working on it for the next 16 years. It was reported that he would sometimes just stare at it for hours, and after contemplating for all that time he would add to it just a single stroke of his brush. The painting, the Mona Lisa, was still in his studio when he died. In da Vinci’s mind it was never finished.
About 10 years ago I took a course with a well known writer who was working on a new novel. When she was asked what it was about she said that she couldn’t tell us because her novel didn’t like it when she told people about it. She even referred to her novel in the feminine, “She doesn't like it when I talk about her…” Her eyes lit up when she talked about her novel in progress. She clearly was enjoying her special relationship with it and the sheer pleasure that she gained from having it in her life. I took that course about 10 years ago and I’m pretty sure that novel still hasn't seen the light of day. Perhaps it never will.
Here’s the thing about my tower. I may never actually build it. Or if I somehow someday buy some land and start construction on it, there is an incredibly high likelihood that I’ll never complete it. The idea of “It’s the journey, not the destination” may be one of the world’s greatest cliches, but in the case of pursuits like my tower, I think it might also be true.
Eric Hart’s Wolf Painting
A couple of months ago my friend Eric posted this to Instagram. It kind of inspired this whole post. I also think it might be the most fantastic painting I’ve ever seen. Certainly gives the Mona Lisa a run for its money :)
Sharoni Sibony’s Restorative Creativity
Sharoni works in the intersection between Jewish spirituality and creative practice. She has a workshop coming up called “Restorative Creativity” which sounds pretty amazing. It’s designed “to engage your senses and your sense of wonder by observing and processing our experiences through mark- and art-making.” She also promises that in these sessions will “let our minds wander with materials in hand, and nourish ourselves with deep play.” The idea of being “nourished by deep play” feels incredibly soothing right now. The next one is happening in Toronto on November 18th. You can find the details here.
I have land! You can build it out here in N.S.